There are so many options to improve on basketball and I believe that it is time for a drastic change. It was invented in 1891 and evolved a bit with the times, but there’s not much change since the 1950s, or even Space Jam.
It’s the same sport. Yawn, snooze. It’s time to shake things up!
Every sport has its flaws. Like humans, it’s not perfect, but lately, I’ve been noticing a lack of true enthusiasm from hoops fans and that’s not good, especially with how much these players make and sweat out. Some even get bloody for our entertainment. Let’s make it worth all of our time and energy.
Here’s a list of 17 ways to make basketball better, you know, for you “fans” out there:
Don’t interview the athletes. Please. No one cares. This actually can apply to all sports where you can recite the clichés before the interviewer finishes the question. E.g. “I try to take things one day at a time, and good Lord willing, things will work out.”
Higher baskets. You want to show off? Make it an impressive feat. Throw it back to the Mayans. You think you can slam dunk, try adding some parkour into it. The more flare, the better.
All star game is played blindfolded. This is the best of the best. It shouldn’t be too much of a stretch to think they know the game with their eyes closed.
Make the mascots referees. No one understands the gestures anyway.
Smaller courts. Less pointless running back and forth.
Five minutes per game. I’ve always heard that anything important happens in the last two minutes anyways. You can have the build up without the wasted energy. Keep the drama by giving fans only three minutes to drink during the game.
Once a player leaves, keep them out. They had a turn, let someone else play.
As a spectator, if you catch the ball, or a player, you can keep them.
Brass knuckles and cleats. If they are going to hurt each other, make it worthwhile.
— #FreeGhost (@KENNotBeStopped) July 6, 2017
More balls. They don’t count for points, but they can count against you if not in the court of play.
Group sing-a-long. You need a catchy tune like the seventh inning stretch.
Make the free throws more interactive. Pit of doom with hungry gators.
Dance team members can tag in. Because why not?
Death match halftime. One on one mascot fight to the death.
Jack Nicholson is a Laker now. Let’s see what he can do.
Add cats. Because cats make everything better.